“True leadership stems from individuality that is honestly and sometimes imperfectly expressed… Leaders should strive for authenticity over perfection.” – Sheryl Sandberg
I was having lunch in London with Donald, the leader of a successful marketing company when he asked me what my upcoming book was about.
I shared with him that it was a leadership book that shows that at the foundation of effective leadership is the ability for leaders to be vulnerable and authentic.
He paused for a moment, nodded his head, and said that while he understands the importance of vulnerability and authenticity, that sometimes as a CEO, it isn’t possible.
Donald runs a multi-million dollar company with dozens of employees that have a variety of personalities and skill sets. He went on to share how hard it can be to run a company that is profitable, while feeling the pressure to keep people employed, while also trying to create a workplace culture where people feel valued and appreciated, and oftentimes not knowing what the right answer is.
Yet as the CEO he feels he has to project an image of confidence and certainty, even when he may not feel that way, and that he has to be extra mindful of what he says and how he says it in fear of things being misconstrued and then turning into an HR nightmare!
He says that because of those reasons, he shies away from expressing how he really feels.
And I went on to tell him that what he shared with me is exactly what he can share with his team! What he shared with me is vulnerable and authentic!
When COVID first hit, he wasn’t sure if his company would survive. His usual growth strategies and methods of operations seemed to no longer apply. He was nervous about how he would keep the company afloat and knew in his heart that he couldn’t guarantee anybody had job security, yet he would do his best to make it happen.
Looking back, he wondered if he should have shared these sentiments with the team, but he chose his usual British strategy of “Keep Calm and Carry On.” He knew his team felt nervous and uncertain, so he didn’t want to share that he felt those things too.
He realizes now that if he had shared more of his true feelings at the time, it could have actually created more human connection with the team. The team would know that their boss was human too, and even with those fears, would do whatever he could to keep their jobs and the company running smoothly.
Running a business is hard.
Being a high-level leader is demanding and oftentimes it is a challenge to know what to share and what not to share.
Having the courage to share that is indeed vulnerable and authentic.
Oftentimes leaders have the misconception that being vulnerable means being overly emotional and airing one’s “dirty laundry”.
Or that vulnerability is weak and touchy-feely.
And that authenticity means just saying what you think and feel in the moment without a filter or regard for the impact that your words may have on others.
In reality, vulnerability and authenticity is having the courage to be yourself and is a strategic necessity to uplevel your life, business, or career.
But what does being yourself mean in a leadership position?
It means letting go of the idea of always needing to project an image of unwavering confidence and competence.
It means sharing what you find challenging without compromising anybody’s personal information.
It means admitting your mistakes and acknowledging when you don’t know something.
It means being able to make the distinction between what areas you really are confident and competent in, and which areas you need to work on, and being more open to sharing this out loud.
The ability for leaders to be vulnerable and authentic creates more connection and ultimately trust.
In fact, the ability to share that it is hard for you to be vulnerable is in itself an act of vulnerability, and can create more human connection and trust with your team, colleagues, and even clients.
While embracing vulnerability and authenticity can be hard, choosing to embrace them is a powerful commitment to human connection and trust.
Here are some ways that you can embrace vulnerability and authenticity:
- Self-Reflection:
Take some for introspection and to look within yourself. What is your relationship with vulnerability and authenticity? Was there a time that you chose to hide your vulnerabilities? What was the outcome? How could it have been different if you chose to express more of your true feelings?
Taking time to reflect on your own relationship with vulnerability and authenticity is the first step on the journey of improving in those areas.
- Open and Honest Communication:
Practice open communication with your team where you share your own challenges and encourage them to do so as well without compromising sensitive information. Create an environment where team members feel comfortable to share their thoughts and concerns, even if it feels edgy. Directly ask them what challenges they currently face. If you don’t have a team, how can you do this with your clients?
- Admit Mistakes:
Acknowledge your own mistakes openly and address them transparently. Share any insights or lessons learned from your mistakes. Demonstrate that vulnerability doesn’t hinder leadership, yet it enhances it by fostering a culture of continuous learning, growth, and improvement.
- Share Your Own Growth Journey
Be open about what you’re working on in your personal and professional development. If you’re actively working on the skill sets of vulnerability and authenticity, share that with your team and/or clients.
- Encourage Honest Feedback
Actively seek feedback from your team and clients. Ask them what you’re doing well and what you can do even better. Listen to their feedback and implement it as best as you can. Make it clear that you value their insights and opinions.
- Celebrate Successes and Failures
Celebrate both successes AND failures openly. Embrace victories with humility and acknowledge those who helped. Use setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth without blame or judgment
- Regular Check-ins
Incorporate regular check-ins with your team, clients, and within your organization for “weather reports” to see how people are feeling. This allows you and the other leaders to gauge the pulse of the organizational culture. This also creates the opportunity for open dialogue to let others express their ideas, concerns, or suggestions which reinforces a culture of authenticity.
Whether you’re a solopreneur or leading a big organization, in what ways can more vulnerability and authenticity help you in your life and business?
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