Whether in your life or in your career, the key to success lies not within what you do well or when things are going amazingly smooth.
The key to success depends on your relationship with resistance.
One of the best indicators of success is how you think and react when things get excruciatingly tough or when you’re in a situation that feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
How you react to resistance can either be an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve or it can be a contributing factor to how you get in your own way.
Here are 4 steps that can help you use resistance to serve you rather than hinder you.
1. Know that resistance is inevitable. No matter what your goals are, resistance will always be part of the process. It’s not personal; it’s a part of life. Expect that there will be times when things don’t go as planned or you’ll be faced with something that you don’t want to do.
We all feel fear when we put ourselves out there and feel vulnerable. It’s being aware of how you react to it that makes all the difference.
2. Be aware of when you’re experiencing resistance. The second step is to know when you’re in the “resistance” part of the process. How do you know?
Do you feel uncomfortable?
Do you feel vulnerable?
Do you feel judged?
Are you being judgmental?
Are you in disagreement with what the other person is saying?
Are there physical signs in your body? (e.g. increased heart rate, sweaty palms, knot in stomach, fidgeting, etc.)
3. Be aware of your default perspective when it comes to resistance. What is your default action and perspective when you’re in resistance?
Are you immediately skeptical of new ideas or are you fully listening to what others have to say?
Do you judge the experience that’s making you feel uncomfortable or are you open to learning something new even if it feels weird?
Do you shut down and stop listening or do you strive to understand the point of what you’re being asked to do, even if you may not agree with it?
Do you default to feeling angry that you’re being pushed out of your comfort zone or are you grateful for the experience?
4. Reframe it to a more useful perspective. The great news about resistance is that you have the opportunity to reframe those feelings of vulnerability and fear into feelings of empowerment and confidence.
The truth is that if you want to do something great, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Instead of immediately shooting down an idea that seems dumb, what would happen if you had the perspective of trying to find value in it?
Few things in life are predictable. However, knowing that change and resistance is always going to be a part of your journey is something that is constant and predictable.
Preparing your mindset ahead of time to best handle resistance is what will make the difference between opening yourself to new opportunities and only sticking to what you know is safe.
If you really want to step it up in your life and career, writer Chuck Palahniuk describes it best when facing resistance, “Don’t do what you want. Do what you don’t want. Do what you’re trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.”
Leave a Reply