I was recently teaching an Enneagram class and we were covering the topic of polarity.
For those who don’t know, the Enneagram is a system of personal and professional development that consists of 9 different core motivation styles.
All of us tend to resonate with one of the styles the most which is known as your core type. Your core type explores the why that drives your default patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting.
The point of the Enneagram is not about putting you in a box. It is about shedding light on the box that you’ve put yourself in. It is about identifying your default patterns and using the system like a map to integrate some of the other types into your life to expand what is possible for you.
Polarity is about learning from and incorporating some of the patterns of the other types of the Enneagram that seem like the polar opposites from your usual way of feeling, thinking, and behaving.
Ultimately, integrating patterns from the other types helps you become a more effective, well-rounded, empathetic person. This can lead to increased meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in all areas of your life.
But it’s not always easy!
For example, my core type is 3 whose default patterns include focusing on results, achievement, and moving fast to get things done.
Learning to incorporate more of the type 9 into my life to have more success seemed counterintuitive. The patterns of type 9 include slowing down, relaxing, inclusivity, diplomacy, and valuing harmony over merely checking action items off a list.
However, learning to slow down, going with the flow more, and truly being open to include other people’s ideas has led me to more creative solutions and successful interactions with people.
One of the students in my most recent class mentioned that embracing some of these polar behaviors seemed inauthentic. (He happened to be a core type 4 whose motivation is to be unique and authentic.)
He brought up a very good point; authenticity is an important quality when it comes to effective leadership and living a meaningful life.
Authenticity can be simply defined as being true to yourself and living your life according to the values and goals that are most important to you.
However, I brought this distinction into the class:
Inauthenticity versus discomfort in service of your growth.
If you are a person who is interested in learning and growing in order to have more success and fulfillment in your life, then it is absolutely necessary to do things out of your comfort zone.
In fact, your brain can only create new neural pathways and learn if there is discomfort by trying unfamiliar things and making mistakes.
So if you are a growth-minded person, deliberately incorporating behaviors that you know will stretch you towards becoming more effective and fulfilled is actually very authentic.
It is authentic because you are behaving in ways that are in alignment with who you say you are, a person who values personal and professional growth.
Stepping out of our comfort zones to integrate new behaviors can feel counterintuitive and even inauthentic at times. However, it’s through this discomfort that we truly grow.
Ultimately, by challenging ourselves to adopt new perspectives and behaviors, we not only enhance our leadership skills but also find greater success and fulfillment in all areas of our lives.
True authenticity comes from staying committed to our growth and stretching beyond our default patterns.
So, let’s embrace the journey, step into the discomfort, and expand what’s possible for ourselves and those we lead.
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