Well, I didn’t exactly dance with wolves like the subject line suggests, but I did hang out with a wolf pack at the Wolf Connection a few weeks ago. The Wolf Connection is a non-profit organization for human empowerment and a wolf sanctuary for rescued wolves. Read on to see the lessons I learned from this amazing experience.
I was invited to lead a staff training to enhance team dynamics for the leadership team at The Wolf Connection, a non-profit for human empowerment and a wolf sanctuary for rescued wolves. I had a blast using the personality and motivation tool, the Enneagram to guide this amazing team of leaders to better self-understanding and improved team efficiency and company culture.
After spending half the day teaching a group of amazing humans, what really blew me away was spending the second half of the day learning from the wolves. CEO of The Wolf Connection, CEO Teo Alfero says that wolves teach us what it means to be human. Boy, was he right!
Here are some great lessons that I learned from the wolves:
Just be.At the beginning of the wolf experience, I found myself asking a lot of intellectual questions like, “How old is this wolf?” “How many acres is this ranch?” “Where do you get your wolves?” Even though these are legitimate questions, Teo brought to my attention, ”Who cares?” He was saying this not in a rude way, but shedding the light on the fact that I was asking questions to gather information, when the wolf experience is about transformation.
As I met more wolves, my need for information dissipated. My need to fill the silence with words went away. I just observed, breathed, watched the wolves…I was just being. And it was glorious.
Silence is amazing.In coaching, we call it the power of pause. In powerful coaching sessions, silence is golden. It allows the client to reflect deeper. Life is no different.
It was a sunny, windy, chilly, beautiful day at the ranch in Palmdale. Every noise that the wolves “speak” has an intention, a purpose. As I realized that I was talking just for talking sake, I shut up and just appreciated the quiet. I heard the wind through the trees, the subtle grunts of the wolves, and felt the sun on my face.
Humans often feel the need to fill awkward silences with words out of fear that the silence indicates something is missing or that the conversation is beginning to lack substance. In reality, embracing the silence between words allows for true listening and greater appreciation for what is actually happening.
Meet them where they’re at, not where you want them to be.When I met the first wolf, she was very human-friendly. She came up to me with her tail wagging and plopped down at my feet to allow me to rub her belly. This was very “dog-like” and fulfilled one of the main human needs why we love dogs, their unconditional love, loyalty, and unending attention.
As the wolf experience continued, I learned that not all the wolves were so eager to rub up against me. There were some wolves that didn’t come up to me at all and there were others who checked me out from afar and came up to me slowly. My facilitators instructed me to just sit and be. They told me to just be calm and that they’ll come to me when they’re ready. This was a great lesson as I so wanted every animal to come up and give me a great hug! But I was in their home, in their space. It was a good reminder that oftentimes we impatiently want people to act, think, and behave how we want them to, not as they are. I took this lesson of meeting them where they are, not where I want them to be to heart as it applies to everybody that we interact with, human and animal.
Self-aware is not the same thing as self-conscious.The wolves taught me this important distinction. People sometimes confuse being self-conscious with being self-aware. Wolves are extremely self-aware in that they are always aware of their surroundings and don’t overthink what they need to do to take care of their needs. Whenever I walked into one of their enclosures, the wolves knew I was there and did what they wanted to do with behavior ranging from running up to me excitedly with slobbering kisses or half a glance while continuing to lounge under the shade of a tree.
The point being that the wolves were not self-conscious. They didn’t care what I thought. They weren’t anxious that I would write them a bad review or judge them for not being more articulate. The wolves taught me to be aware of my surroundings and to know what I want, and to not let other opinions of me stop me from going after it.
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